2005 A Year in Review

Well after seeing everyone blogging about the past year I decided it would be a good idea for me to jump on the bandwagon. It has been quite the year for me....Although up until now I have been trying to press on and not think about the past. Last New Years Eve was spent with a few friends and some tequila. After becoming slightly intoxicated I decided it would be a good idea to call an ex boyfriend and wish him a happy new year. This simple drunk dial started a series of events....we started to talking...stuff happened...etc. After new years up until about May life got a little crazy. My father got engaged and was then married in April. I also had heavy load between school and work. Then came the month of May....I was shopping at Inspire Me to pick up a couple Juicy Couture sweatsuits before the Women's Retreat(Juicy is the best when you want to be comfy but chic!!) and I received a job offer. I had the weekend to make a decision. And what a weekend it was! The Women's Retreat is something that I look forward to every year. This year a lot of great relationships came out of it. I had come in contact with all of the girls before... but after the weekend was done I had made some really great friendships (Jeanna it all started at the campfire). I came back to reality on that Monday and made the decision to take the job at Inspire Me and leave the my four year adventure at the Buckle. Summer came with some major changes. I had several close friends leave, my step family moved in, started a small group with the girls from the retreat, and there was the famous BLOWUP with my ex. Although lots of stuff went on some awesome memories were made...Jeanna's Bday, Party at Laura's, Haci dancing, the beach, speedos, off roading....Just to name a few! Then school started back up and my life got a little hectic...my small group fell apart (despite efforts to keep it up)...my family life got a little rough...my relationship with God and friends got put on the back burner(between school and work there is no time). The semester was just kind of one big blur for me. Then I was on another shopping spree and received another job offer (as school was coming to a close). So I decided to leave my short experience at Inspire Me and go back to Buckle. Which leads me to where I am today. This year has been full of changes.... and challenges....gained relationships.....lost relationships....finding myself...finding my place...great parties...fabulous trips...weddings...great conversation...and lessons learned....we will see what 2006 brings............... <3 Moi ;)

A Little Sunday Night Humor

A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS STRANGE NOISESCOMING FROM THE BEDROOM. HE RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKEDON THE BED, SWEATING AND PANTING."WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS."I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK," CRIES THE WOMAN.HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST AS HE'S DIALING,HIS 4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS "DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDINGIN YOUR CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!"THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN, STORMS UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PASTHIS SCREAMING WIFE, AND RIPS OPEN THE WARDROBE DOOR. SURE ENOUGH, THERE ISHIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED, COWERING ON THE CLOSET FLOOR."YOU ROTTEN S.O.B.," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY WIFE'S HAVING A HEARTATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!" I got this from one of my coworkers I though it was friggen halrious and decided that others might feel the need to have a little laugh as well ...hehe

Wheeeww! Finals are over!

I would just like to say thanks to all of u who were praying for me during finals....very much apperciated. I made it through them alive and thats all that matters. I def learned that a little bit of sleep and alot of coffee and praying gets u through hardcore finals. God was def on my side through them. Ne ways Im so excited that it is Christmas break. I get to work and hang out with friends yay!

Hell on earth ?

This week could possibly be one of the most challenging weeks I have been through...possibly? It is a combination of things that brought me to my state of mind I am in today. I work fifty six hours this week...Yep I said it 56. I know some of you say Linds thats nothing. I also have finals. One of my finals determines whether or not I take all my next semester classes. Only one person may understand my next rant...but while I am throwing my self this pitty party I might as well include it......There is a game...Im not very good at this game. I have lost it several times. Im competitive so I hate to lose. Ne ways it is just a combination of things that are going on. I could possibly have a nervous breakdown. Therefore if you read this please pray for me if you get the chance...it would be very much apperciated. Thanks

May the good lord be with you Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness Surround you when you’re far from home And may you grow to be proud Dignified and true And do unto others As you’d have done to you Be courageous and be brave And in my heart you’ll always stay Forever young, forever youngForever young, forever young May good fortune be with you May your guiding light be strong Build a stairway to heaven With a prince or a vagabond And may you never love in vain And in my heart you will remain Forever young, forever young Forever young, forever young Forever young Forever young And when you finally fly away I’ll be hoping that I served you well For all the wisdom of a lifetimeNo one can ever tell But whatever road you choose I’m right behind you, win or lose Forever young, forever young Forever young ,forever young Forever young, forever young For, forever young, forever young

What is the deal with People?

SO I had to write one last paper in my religion and culture class. We had the whole semester to write this one because we had to attend three different church denominations other than our own. I went to a Catholic serivce, Mars Hill, and Nappanee Missionary. All were very different from each other, but each served its members well. I realized through all this that people need different churches. I love GCC it's the place for me! BUT its not for everyone. Just as these churches really didnt fit my personality but they worked for their congration. Now today was the day we turned in these papers and got to talk about our experiences. I was really excited to talk about what I had learned and all the cool things that happened and also so some stuff that I thought didnt work. After class I was totally sad and frustrated. People in my class totally just bashed other churches. Especially GCC and a couple other larger churches were targeted. They say that GCC is commercialized, its a big marketing scam, they disrespect God's house by having coffee and such....etc. One lady even said "I heard that they dont use the Bible, I mean no one ever brings the Bible to church" Most of my class time was spent trying to explain that we do have Bibles , we use them, we love Jesus, We love people, and thats why we do what we do. It totally was a negative experience. I really broke my heart that people just bash each others churches. Why do we do this? People have different needs. Jesus understood this. This has just been coming up so much lately. I will never comprehend why people focus so much on what others are doing. I mean I care about people that are close to me dont misundertand this. I just think that the Devil is putting this idea in people's heads that everyone should believe excatly the same thing. Now while some things are black and white....there is alot of gray area. And the gray area is up to that person and God. No need to judge one persons gray area becuase it is not the same as yours. Love each other! Each one of my friends is different and unique we all believe slightly different things on certain issues and that is why I love them and find them so interesting. Ok Im going to get off the soap box now. Everyone have a great day!!!

Count your Blessings

Wow what a roller coaster ride these last few months have been.....I have had so many changes going on. During all these changes and trials I really started to get bitter, sad, angry.....etc. A few days ago I recieved a forward(usually I hate forwards and refuse to read them but this time I did and Im really glad) and at the beginning a good friend of mine talked about becoming judgemental and negative. After reading it I took a step back and took a look in the mirror. I realized that I had somehow taken some steps in the wrong direction. I was judging people and being negative because of all these thing that were happening around me. I was unhappy and I was going to take everyone else down with me. NE ways so after taking this "look in the mirror" I decided that I needed to point my feet in the right direction and take a different path (the I was on was obiviously not productive). So they have this cute little blessings jar at Inspire Me (my old place of employment) and I bought it. I decided that I would put in a blessing everyday to help me on my road to being more focused and positive. Ne ways the first night was rough. I refuse to do something if I dont believe it in my heart. I sat there that first night and was so bitter I didnt want to write ne thing down as a blessing because I really was starting to think that God screwed me over. (Now if u know me at all u know that I am a drama queen and will make somethings out to be a life and death matter..If Jeanna is reading this she is laughing and totally agreeing because I have told her many times that I think I am severely damaged from my upbring lol). Ne ways God finally just broke my heart because I really did want to write something I was just being stubborn. So the past few days I have wrote down blessings! It has been fabulous! People if you havent tried this I highly recommend you do. It helps to write it down and visually see it. I have been doing so much better. It helps me to be postive and focus on God. He has really been changing my heart. On another note I started back to the Buckle. I was seriously sick to my stomach about going back. I worked there for four years before I took a little 5 mo. break. I was worried I might have lost my skills. Friday was my first day back it went really well the team was asking me questions about presentations and product. I had some fabulous presentations myself. I think God is def doing some work in my professional life right now. Im excited to be back in my leadership postion and teaching people about fashion and sales...I have a good feeling about everything. I guess what I have learned from all this is that God is FAITHFUL. He doesnt give you anything you cant handle and He is a good God.

D.H.T. - Listen To Your Heart - Featuri...
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Thinking Makes My Head Hurt!

Ok so things are coming together with the family a little better now I am feeling fairly well about the whole situation. So thanks to everyone who is praying for me! Ok so lately I have been pondering some life changes. I have been offered my old job back....along with some new opportunities. The offer is great but it is very tough because I love the job I am at now. But with the Buckle it will be very easy to move up through the company. And Inspire Me is over after I finish college and there will be no opportunity to move myself on up. But I will have about two years of high end fashion experience after all is said and done. Which is a plus because alot of jobs in NY require experience in high end sales. Ne ways I have been praying and talking to some close friends. I think I have finally come to a decision which is a relief....But there is always that fear that comes with change. I love change and I hate change. Its difficult at the start but there is so much benefit to it. So that is a little update on me incase ne one was wondering lol. Now on to my next point. I was reading in my Philosophy book. Here is a quote that has made me really think or ponder. "the greatest griefs are those we cause oursleves" *Sopholces
Ok so i thought about this..can this be true to I bring on alot of the grief myself? I have been hurt by circumstances that are out of my control. I also cause alot of tension or damage just by being me lol. But here is how I look at this whether or not my grief is self imposed or out of my control....It is how I respond. I think that is what Sophocles was talking about in the quote. There will always be grief alot of it is out of our control but I you throw yourself a big pitty party then it sometimes makes things worse than they seem. I so this alot. I like to be dramatic about things. Like the time I was convinced that I need to see a therapist because I was severly damaged from my childhood. Now I dont think the situation is quite as bad as I potrayed it. Sometimes I hold onto grief, anger, frusteration, etc. I mean stuff happens and it hurts but sometimes you just have to put the situation in perspective and as Lori Salerino says"Get up, Get Over It, Move on" Ok thats all I have for you. Not very deep but it made me think anyways!?

Confessions of a Broken Heart

OK so this is a song that is really resonating with me right now not just parts of the lyrics but also the emotion in Lindsay Lohan's voice when she sings the song. I really seem to relate to music when I cant describe exactly what I am feeling a song more than likely can. This song is just about a girl stuggling with family problems and well I have lots of family issues so the song is very appropriate for me. I wait for the postman to bring me a letterI wait for the good Lord to make me feel betterAnd I carry the weight of the world on my shouldersA family in crisis that only grows older
Why'd you have to goWhy'd you have to goWhy'd you have to go
Daughter to father, daughter to fatherI am broken but I am hopingDaughter to father, daughter to fatherI am crying, a part of me is dying andThese are, these areThe confessions of a broken heart
And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweaterI dream of another youThe one who would never (never)Leave me alone to pick up the piecesA daddy to hold me, that's what I needed
So why'd you have to goWhy'd you have to goWhy'd you have to go!!
Daughter to father, daughter to fatherI don't know you, but I still want toDaughter to father, daughter to fatherTell me the truth, did you ever love meCause these are, these areThe confessions of a broken heart
I love you,I love youI love youI....!!!!!I love you!!
Daughter to father, daughter to fatherI don't know you, but I still want toDaughter to father, daughter to fatherTell me the truth...Did you ever love me!!!?Did you ever love me?These are.....The confessions...of a broken heart
Ohhh....yeah
I wait for the postman to bring me a letter..

I can remember as I child sitting outside my door on our balcony listening to my parents fight late at night when they thought I was asleep. I heard lots of things that I should have never heard..Sometimes Ignorance is bliss. That same scene reappeared for once again last night. I was lying down in my bed after having a lovely convo with my friend Jeanna, when I heard my stepmom screaming at my father...I was like what in the world..So I sat outside my bathroom door for about two hours listening to them fight. I sat there and so many painful memories surfaced. I heard my stepmom yell about me and my sis...our family ...our way of life..my father...She said alot of hurtful things to my father..he trys soo hard to make her happy(not to say he hasnt made mistakes because he has). I dont understand at all. At this point and time I am not sure what is going to happen...I can handle the fact the my parents couldnt work things out when I was a kid. But it really sucks when they are both stuggling in their second marriages. I seriously thought when my dad got remarried that this was his soul mate. Im not so sure...I feel as if she wants to give up(PS they have only been married a few months). In ways I blame my way of life...its extremely difficult for them to understand me I feel. Moving on....after I finally went back into my room I sat there and cried to God...I made a vow to God that I NEVER wanted to get married...I dont even know what a marriage is supposed to look like any more....Ne ways I have to go to work soo thats all for now...Im sure that there will be more to come...

Love is .....

Hey all I got this email from my lil sis. Im usually anti forwards ....but this one is pretty darn good. I hope everyone is having a fabulous day!
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint hertoenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, evenwhen his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. Youjust know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologneand they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sipbefore giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,you still want to be together and you talk more.My Mommy and Daddy are like that. Emily - age 8

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend whoyou hate," Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears iteveryday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are stillfriends even after they know each other so well." Tammy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked atall the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her oldclothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little starscome out of you." Karen - age 7 (what a sweet visual image)

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it'sgross" Markus - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if youmean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Deep Thought 

Relationships.....(Sigh)

Relationships.......What else is there to say. LoL They can be the best thing and the worst. I have had a total of three. When it was good it was great ..when it was bad it made me want to shoot myself ( I wouldnt really do that tho). But through everything I learned something. I learned what I liked ...what I definately didnt like. Someone brought up the fact tonight that dating was like experimenting. In a werid sort of way I guess you could call it that. I think Laura said it best when she talked about the experimenting just becoming "having fun". I think thats sort of true. I have had three realtionships and after the third I now know exactly what I want. I dont see the need to do ne more experimenting. Some people it takes longer or shorter everyones different. The other thing we talked about it is the fact that it is biblically stated that men and women will never come to a complete understanding of each other. I totally agree! lol I will never come to a complete understanding of men...and I know Im complicated sometimes I dont even understand what in the world Im doing lol. But think thats how it is with relationships in general. There are times when I dont understand my best friend. Take Jeanna for example... I cant grasp her deep love for children ..God didnt wire me up that way. God wired us each so different. Thats why relationships can be so exciting ..you get know how that other person works and their thoughts. I think in any kind of reltionship you have to keep getting to know a person. You will never stop learning things about them. Cause people go through changes. Just as it is with God I am still learning about God and I will till I die. Ok well i guess thats all I have for right now! ........God is good!

My very first post!

Helllooo all! Yay its my very first post on eblogger. I'm really stoked! This whole blogging thing is a lot of fun to me. I can kinda of give people a little bit of glimpse into what goes on inside this head of mine (as scary as that may be). Ok so Why is my blog called day in the life of a fashionista...Because I am a true Fashionista. I love fashion. Clothes are like wearable art! Its so fun. Other people express themselves through music, painting, drama, etc. Whereas I express myself through what I wear. I also like to write to get my thoughts and feelings out.

"Welcome to the world of four-inch heels, four-ply cashmere, and four-dollar vintage dresses. Fashionistas will do anything to score the latest, the most obscure, the most absurd, the right-off-the runway, the trendiest, the most expensive, the least expensive, the showstopper, the uniform, the marabou, the canvas, the nylon, the silk. the leather, the suede, the velvet, the tweed, the transparent, the ostrich feathers. ....Some of you may scoff-huh, fashion is just so superficial. WE have to say, it is. But also isnt. fashion is a part of life, something that we need to protect our bodies from the cold and radical agents that pollute the air. It is also a form of art, slef expression, and a representaiton of more emotional roots. Fashion evokes a mental response from its appreciators. It can make us weep and make us feel empowered all at once. It inspires thought, ideas, and creativtity, and whether you shop at Walmart or Chanel, chances are we've all dealt with the same issues, moments, joys, and furstrations over fashion. Fashion. It does a life some good!" by Karen Robinovitz "Fashionista Files"